I’m out and now I can’t sleep

It’s 1:52 am and I’m sitting in my children’s father’s living room wide awake. Mostly I think i’m so awake because I fell asleep at 8pm after having so little sleep after the events of the night before. Also, maybe i’m awake because I don’t have to be worried anymore, I’m in a safe place with a very optimistic future.

When I left yesterday, I left a note to the ex, that I would have the movers there next month on the 16th, and to please make sure he was there (I want him there so he can’t accuse me of taking any of his precious crap), I didn’t tell him where I was going, just that I had found a place to stay until my apt is ready.

Shortly, after I left and was with my kids and their dad,,I found myself thinking/warning myself of things not to do, things that the ex was always complaining about for example,,,older daughter got into the car and slammed the door as teens do, inside I cringed,,,don’t slam the door it upsets ex,,,,

Watching tv,,I realized my kids were asking my opinion on what to watch and I realized it was ok to give suggestions, I found myself joking with my girls and later when I was tucked into bed with my older daughter,,I found myself giggling with her over a Family Guy episode (I was never aloud to watch that crap at ex’s) and it felt good to laugh and feel happy again.

I have another job interview tomorrow it’s for a seasonal position at a Hallmark store so that’s good, and I’m now reunited with my kitty:

She doesn't like her picture taken,

She doesn’t like her picture taken, scaredy cat.

Most people that I talked too today, are concerned that he will take his anger and revenge out on what little I have left at his place. I truly think and know that he won’t do anything to it,,,mostly because it would inconvenience him to have to make the effort to get rid of my stuff and also because he knows that I will tell his friends and neighbours and that would make him look like the “bad guy”. Also, I don’t really care if he takes his anger out on it, because it’s just stuff and stuff can be replaced with newer stuff.

True to the Narcissistic character descriptions that I have ┬áread I have not heard one word from him,,,I’m gone, he doesn’t care because life simply revolves around him, he truly believes that everyone is wrong and out to get him. I hope he enjoys living in his little wonderful, perfect world.

I pity the next unsuspecting woman who enters that world.

Advertisements