Online dating etiquette….

online

Ok, people I think I’m just about ready to put myself out there again.

Just for dating,,no long term relationships but to just get out there and meet new people and men.

But just how to do this is the question?

I don’t like to go to dance clubs or loud bars and at my age they just seem to have lots of overaged wannabe’s and drunkards.

I could go to the pub,,,but I feel all weird sitting at the bar by myself and it’s a bit costly.

So I decided to go the way all the “cool” kids are going and that’s the online dating way. Now, I’m not exactly “clueless” to this, I have been on a few in the past.

I have been on Match.com and most that got in touch with me were thos catfish Nigerians,,,no thanks. Plus, I don’t feel the need to pay to meet someone.

So, I made a profile on POF (Plenty of Fish).

pof

My question to you my friends is what is the proper etiquette on who exactly makes the first move. Is it proper for the man to message a woman or is it ok for the woman to take the “plunge” and message the man?

What are the “rules” and what are some of your go to “ice breakers of pick up lines”???

Give it to me, my people!

 

5 things I have learned since I left.

  1. I have not laughed entirely  enough in the last 9 months.
  2. My kids really are truly my rock and have inherited there sense of humour from their mom.
  3. I’m a really smart girl.
  4. I can do this.
  5. I need to follow my gut and instincts in the future.

 

# 5 is the most important out of all of them. It’s been 5 days  and I haven’t heard one word from the ex, I knew that this was going to happen. But it still hurts a bit and it hurts my self esteem a bit as well. I mean, I did everything for this person, I did his laundry, made dinner, baked, hand washed the dishes, cleaned his house and his washroom,money, gave him encouragement,sexual relations,  love and my heart.

Most men would fight to keep a good woman like me,,,isn’t that what a man wants?

I guess I’m a glutton for punishment because I did something I shouldn’t have done today, I checked the dating website that we met on,,and I don’t know why I was so surprised to see him back on there spreading all his narcissistic ego bull crap (and the prick even used the pics I took of him,,,,how pathetic).

Sure,,,it hurt the old ego but, it also given me strength to follow my instincts and to move on eventually. I won’t be looking for a relationship any time soon,,,but I will still have the hope of one day meeting someone who will value all that I have to offer.

I have learned to not rush into a relationship, to take it very slow and perhaps be over cautious if he is the right man he will understand how I have been hurt in the past.

Narcissism advice please.

I’m trying really, really REALLY hard to not get into a fight with “the man” and lately he is really trying to pick them.

Over this weekend I have been accused of planning to eat all the food in the cupboards and refrigerator and leave him high and dry. Jokingly, told that I will have to teach him how to use the washing machine, since i’m leaving him.

He has made loud sighs and puffs of exasperation,,,around dishes in the sink, bathroom not being cleaned,  dust on furniture and dust bunny’s collecting. To my defense I have been battling against a cold and not feeling that great, but honestly with being treated like shit, I simply want to do dick for him. I’m constantly reminded that it’s his house,,ok,,I get it so you clean it. In the last 6 months I have lived there this man has not cleaned a dish. (i’m not a dirty person btw, I did clean the house yesterday just because I can’t live in filth and to stop his incessant huffing and puffing).

Last night he repeatedly made comments about how I am leaving him,,while I stroke his ego and say “oh no dear your totally wrong I would never leave you”. When in reality it’s totally what I am going to do.

I’m no longer supposed to use the internet because I use to much and run up his bill. Which is true because everyday when I get home I’m busting my ass looking for a apartment and trying to find a job.

This morning I fell into his trap.

As I was enjoying my first cup of tea for the day,,he came out of the washroom and this is what he said.

Him:”Now hon,,,,you believe what’s fair is fair right”?

Me: I wanted to say yes,,but instead being half asleep what I was really thinking came out “What did I do wrong” is what came out.

Him: Don’t even try to turn this around on me,,,I simply wanted to say that when I shave I am nice enough to make sure I clean up after myself and make sure I clean up my whiskers. And you constantly leave your hair everywhere.

Me:(In my head Sccrrreeeaattccchhhh!!! WHAT THE FUCK). What I said was,,,,”Fine I’m going to cut my hair short again,,I only was growing it longer because you said you like longer hair, I knew this would be a problem, so I’m going to go back to short hair”.

Him: “Don’t turn this around on me,,,I fucking hate this shit I don’t need this”

And he stomped out of the house.

This is what he does all the time,,try’s to turn everything around on me. I need advice on how to head him off and to word my responses,,,I’ve tried the not answering and the to simply not answer but this is starting to not work anymore.

I never returned the call to the Women’s Shelter last week,,,but I’m definately calling them today for advice,,,I have no money or transportation to go there hopefully they can help me over the phone.

Sigh,,,,I need to stop writing and go clean up my tears before class starts,,,,thanks for listening guys your my only solace right now,,I’m sorry i’m such a downer lately.