Injustice and abuse. *Warning this could trigger some*

This  is a story about a little girl. A girl that should have always known her parent’s love from the day of conception and birth. Instead she was brought into this world knowing only neglect, resentment and abuse.

The girls father speaks about the neglect of the little girl by her mother. He remembers days when he would leave for work making sure the the little girl had a clean diaper, clean clothes on and have having a full bottle of milk in her belly before he put her back to her crib.

He comes home from work 10 hours later to find the little girl still in the crib, in the same diaper that is now full and leaking, and to empty bottles all around the girl.

Was the mother suffering from post postpartum depression? Why wasn’t something done?

The young parent’s fight. The mother blames the little girl. If she hadn’t been born, the mother would have her freedom.

The mother leaves the little girl with “friends” while the father is working, so she can get out.

One of the “friends” sexually molests the little girl who is now 2. The “friend” feels guilty and tells on himself, he turns his self into the police. He is given a small sentence and community service.

The mother blames the little girl.

The mother cheats on the little girls father and get’s pregnant.  The “other man”, finds out, and moves away. The mother who is desperately in “love” with the other man leaves the little girls father, taking the little girl to follow the “other” man who now tells the mother he wants nothing to do with her, the little girl or the baby on the way.

The mother blames the little girl, she hits her and calls her names. She tells her that she deserves nothing, no new clothes, no sweets, and no toys.

The mother moves to different states and the father can’t find his little girl. When the mother does call the father, she yells at the father and blames him for everything. She yells at him that he is a deadbeat and never sends money. The father can’t send money if she doesn’t tell where she is. This makes the mother more angry and she hangs up. It’s a cycle now.

The father moves on with his life and meets a new lady, they fall in love and get married. The little girls mother finds out and gets angry. She moves to Las Vegas to find the “other man”, she had now had her second baby it’s a little girl. The mother loves the second baby girl and showers her with love and attention. She hates the first little girl.

The father finds out that the little girl is living in Las Vegas a block from the strip. The police contact the father after the little girls school contact them with concerns about the little girl. The father gets on the first plane and goes to Las Vegas and shows up unannounced at the mother’s apartment. There is no furniture, and no food.

He spends a few days with his daughter, he stocks up the cupboards and the fridge with food. He buys his daughter clothes and toys. He gives the mother his address, his work information so that he can start paying his child support. The mother agrees to keep in touch and to visitations and holidays.

The father leaves to go back to his wife in another state. He leaves feeling good, he is happy that he will now regualarly see his daughter and contribute to her well being.

The mother leaves the next week. She leaves everything behind, all the food spoils, she leaves the little girls clothes and toys her father has bought her. She tells no one where she has gone too. The father only knows because the school contacts him that his child has not been attending.

The father is worried, he can’t find his daughter.

The mother calls 6 weeks later. She is in Illinois. Homeless, and living in a car with her 2 children. She demands the father come and get the child NOW.  Work won’t let the father leave for 5 days. He makes arrangements for his sister to drive from Missiouri in 2 days to get his child and keep her until the father and step mother can get there. The mother is angry, she wants rid of the child asap. The father calls the local authorities in illinois and asks for help thinking it may be best for her to be in care until he can get there. The authorities, tell him there is nothing against the law for the mother to live in the car with the children and nothing they can do.

The father’s sister gets to the child, 2 days later. And calls to tell the father that the child is severely sun burnt, dirty and full of lice but she has her and she is safe.

The father and stepmother arrive and get the child they bring her home.

The child exhibits “strange” behaviour. She is mean towards other children and breaks things constantly, she shows no remorse.

That’s ok, they will show her love, it will take time.

One morning the step mother observes the little girl performing sexual acts on the family cat, she calls her husband right away and they inform the authorities. Sadly, it is found out that the mother and the the mother’s boyfriend have been sexually abusing the little girl.

In therapy, it is learned that it’s not just sexual abuse, but extreme mental and physical abuse.

The father and step mother go to court. They get full emergency custody, until the mother can come to court.

They don’t expect the mother to show up in court. But she does AND she brings the “boyfriend” as well. She tells the judge that it is all the father’s fault and the little girls fault. She deserved it, the mother tells the court that she sold all of the child’s stuff because why should the father have it?

The mother announces in court that she has now married the boyfriend, even though she  knows that there is charges against him for child sexual abuse. She also announces that she is now pregnant with her 3rd child and they a gloriously happy.

The court terminates her parental rights. She leaves the state vowing to make the father and stepmother pay.

The court advises the father to pursue charges against the boyfriend in the state that the mother and boyfriend live in.

The boyfriend gets away with it all, because he refuses to take a lie detector test. Also because the little girl has a full blown nervous breakdown and ends up spending the next 2 years in and out of mental health facilities.

The strain of the child and her mental health problems is a big strain on the father’s and new wife’s marriage. The father goes into a deep depression. He works all night, and sleeps all day until a half hour before work starts. Leaving the step mother to deal with his child. He goes to the family therapy counselling, says what the therapist wants to hear and as soon as he leaves the office goes back to sleep. It all goes in one ear and out the other.

The step mother is stressed, she is lonely, sad and angry. She fears for the little girl and her future, she begs her husband to tune in and be a part of the little girls life, she needs her dad. The father gets angry and hits the step mother.

That’s enough.

She’s had enough.

It’s done.

She goes to work, tells her boss what has happened.

She waits until Friday.

She waits until he leaves for work.

She packs all she can in the car.

She goes to work and gets her last pay. Her boss has paid her in cash.

She gets in the car.

She drives over the border and back to her home country.

She starts her life over.

**I haven’t spoken about my past here yet. This is a post about my step daughter. I felt that it should be told, one because it is a kind of therapy for myself to finally write it out. But also, to show how the system also failed a little child. The boyfriend and mother got away with it all because the child had a mental breakdown and her statements would not hold up in court we were told.

Happy Mother’s Day and a excuse.

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HAPPY MOM’S DAY EVERYONE!

 

Oh and I’m a slacker on the Daily Music Challenge but I have a excuse I was called into work early both days and up working in the evenings with Big C getting her ready to start her new job teaching about how to run a cash system etc. I will update the challenge this evening when I get home.

Have a awesome day out there to all you wonderful mom’s and dad’s that do the job as the mom in your kids lives.

Adult mother daughter love.

Being a mother to a adult daughter now (Big C turned 20 this month), is truly kind of a cool thing.

We watch the same type of shows most timesby this I mean, I endure Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy marathons and Big C endures my trashy Maury/Steve shows, Canada Master Chef and Sunday Coronation Street Marathons.

We wander down to the pub and have a few drinks at least once a week too watch the Hockey game and I get to humiliate her by injecting myself into other people’s conversations with my witty fun wheeling words of inspiration 😉

Being mother and daughter we can have really good fun times, and horrible mean hurtful times, when words are said that cut to the core. There are tears, yelling, hugs and words of encouragement. We are there for each other thru the hard times and for the not so hard times.

We can be silly at home where no one in the real world can see us. Who doesn’t like to play rub your finger in your belly button and put your finger under your mom or daughter’s nose and play “what’s that smell”? Best game in awhile has been the “VAGINA” slap game,,,good times.  I mean really sounds like grand fun right, all moms and daughter’s play these don’t they???

We try each other’s attempts at new recipes and can truthfully let each other no when it’s a complete FAIL!  then throw that shit away and order a pizza or if it’s a financially lean time make a big plate of peanut butter and crackers and a big ‘ol mug of hot chocolate.

One thing I share with my daughter and it’s something I never wanted to share is my anxiety and depression. Sadly my friends this is something we do share. Recently, she went thru a real bad spell, it’s send her back. She had to leave her 1st real job she was so proud of having and the financial independance she had found that comes with it. 

I’m proud to say that now she is on the road to recovery. She has been going constantly to counselling,and is starting to deal with the realities of things in her life she has been avoiding or didn’t see. She is also  now on the meds she had been avoiding giving a chance. Although it has taking some time making adjustments to them,I am now happy and proud to say she is now is back to my sunny happy girl.

I know that my number one job is to be her mother, to set rules, boundaries and guidelines. But damn it sure is nice to have her as a best friend too!

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I love you Big C,,,and always will (even tho you eat waaaay to much salsa & chips and never wash the pots).

Love Mom xo