Making Decisions best for myself.

It really is hard for me too make decisions that are best for myself. I’m used to trying to please everyone else.

I bring this up because I have decided that I need to drop out of my College course I am enrolled in right now. I just simply can not continue to work until 1am five nights a week and get up at 7 to go to school until 1pm to be back to work for 4pm and do it all again.

People can’t understand why I have made this decision. These people don’t understand that I have to pay the rent and put food on the table. They also don’t understand that a person that suffers from depression finds it harder to wake up and drag themselves around being sleep deprived. Being tired makes me physically sick and we won’t even go into how it affects me mentally.

Yes, there was only 3 months left, but there was also the practicum part still to do, how would I add that to the mix as well? Plus, I have observed many past students that have graduated from this course and not one of them has yet to find employment in this field

Yes, I have to pay back the student loan, without getting a the diploma and I am ok with that. It’s my decison. I do still have my dental assisting diploma and I will continue to look for a job in that field as a receptionist,,it may take a bit longer to find, but it will come.

It’s a decision that I have made that is best for myself at this time.

I unfriended a good friend that I “thought” was a best friend and understood my struggles with depression. I ended the friendship today because she had the audacity to tell me to get over my excuse of depression. Depression is not a excuse, I didn’t ask to have it, unfortunately it runs in my family, I didn’t ask to inherit it  either.

So I guess I made 2 decisions today that are for best for myself today.Why can’t people understand that?

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Twindaddy
    Dec 09, 2013 @ 20:16:46

    I don’t know. Some people don’t even attempt to see things from someone else’s point of view any more.

    You gotta do what you gotta do.

    Reply

  2. Cate Reddell
    Dec 12, 2013 @ 20:37:12

    You can’t go wrong if you’re doing what is right for you. What other people think is right for you is really irrelevant. I’m sorry you had to make these decisions but I’m sure you will feel better for them, if nor immediately then eventually. As someone just said to me, listen to your heart. That’s what counts.

    Reply

  3. Aussa Lorens
    Dec 14, 2013 @ 19:26:38

    That really sucks that a close friend would say and think something like that… And I’m sorry you’ve had to make a tough decision. It’s hard to know when to just “grin and bare it” and when to make an unpopular choice to take care of yourself– but it’s your choice to make and you’re the one who knows what you need/can handle and has to live with it.
    I hope you find a job soon– and for what it’s worth, I dropped out of school a gillion times. That was an incredibly difficult time in my life… one where, yes– it was almost impossible to get out of bed most days. People who haven’t been there have a hard time understanding it. Take care of you and I hope you have a great Christmas season at least!

    Reply

    • overitblogdotcom
      Dec 16, 2013 @ 15:42:14

      Thanks Aussa,
      I really believe I made the best decision for right now. I’m getting 40 hours a week now. I’m still having a hard time with anxiety but I’m making myself get to work and once i’m there i’m ok.
      I plan to stay and build up a little nest egg (at least one month’s rent) then to start looking for a better job.
      And we will have a good Christmas (gonna splurge and get a bottle of vino) !

      Reply

      • Aussa Lorens
        Dec 16, 2013 @ 16:59:09

        I think that sounds like an excellent plan– “money isn’t everything” and all that but there is a lot of security to be had in a nest egg. It’s always baby steps at this point. I think you’re doing great. And um, yeah! Get that vino, huzzah!

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