Dissection of a NARC’s online dating profile

LOOKING FOR MY LAST SHAKER OF SALT: BARF.

 

I am Seeking Woman Victim
For Long term As long as I can victiize you
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Functioning Alcoholic Do you want children? No
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? NoAlcohol is my drug of choice
Pets No Pets Eye Color Brown
Do you have a car? Yes and don’t ever close the doors the wrong way
Do you have children? Yes But my son is my favorite, my other 2 daughters and grandchildren mean nothing to me.
Longest Relationship Over 10 years Shocking right? I found some poor sucker that stayed so long.
Interests

Music Movies Summer
Boating Hockey Nascar
Bon fires Hot summer nights Walks in the bush in the summer
Anything we can do outside in the summer
About Me Rule #1 it’s always all about ME.
I am a kind and good hearted guy, I do not like playing head games. Haha,,another joke,,,I only play head games.
I live alone in my house in the country, Don’t worry that every SINGLE upgrade to this old house has been funded by the last 2 woman in my life,,,you will definately get the chance to contribute.
The summer is my favorite time of year, sitting around the bonfire with friends(nevermind that I don’t have any) listening to music, classic rock mostly, and having couple(aka copius amounts until I am staggering,and start singing at the top of my lungs like a moron to these stupid old songs,,,oh and you are required to tell me how super awesome I am) of drinks on a warm night.
I love to cook, BBQ’s are the best, I BBQ all year round. Nevermind, that I only cook the same thing all the time,,and you are to NOT add any spice at all to mine OR your meal,,,because I am the man and if that’s how I like then you must like it that way too.
Yes I am 51 but people meeting me for the first time think I’m 40 ( have all my hair (and teeth..lol) and no grey). Your only as old as you feel. I do however smoke like a chimney and my teeth are all yellow and I smell like shit. I will repeatedly bitch to you behind closed doors how old I feel, you must stroke my ego and in public rave about how lucky you are to have a older man that doesn’t look his age and he wears you out in the bedroom **wink, wink,,,because afterall, I expect sex EVERY single day,,and for you to perform on me whenever I so choose.
Laughter IS the best medicine. I guess that’s why I am in good health……Even tho I had many warning strokes this past summer, and was told to stop smoking ASAP,,,those silly stupid Dr.’s are all wrong.Instead,,my prescription is to increase my smoking. They also are totally wrong saying that I need a sleep apnea machine,,I don’t deserve to have my license suspended because they feel so strongly about it. They are all wrong.
My son plays guitar and is in a band that plays classic rock. He brings a guitar out when we have bonfires and plays and sings. He is my most favorite child,,,and doesn’t care that I make him do this.
I enjoy going out to pub type bars with local bands playing and love to dance.It doesn’t matter that this was 20years ago. I will promise to take you out to dinner all the time,,,but I just say that,,I never really will.
I work full time at a job I really enjoy.They couldn’t run the company without me. They better hope I never quit,,because the whole million dollar company would surely fall apart without me.
I’m into photography and have a good imagination for taking really cool shots. My best shots are of dragon flys having sex and old fashion water pumps. I will print them out and hang them all over my home and yours! You will brag about how awesome I am at all times.
I am looking for that special gal to spend quality time with and possibly a long term relationship with. Until of course your either broke, now longer serve my needs or question my absolute awesomeness. 
Could this be you? Could you be my next victim?
Talk soon. I mean, you will listen, obey and worship me soon.
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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. aliceatwonderland
    Nov 03, 2013 @ 18:42:45

    If only those ads were honest. This one reads like a dating ad for Christian Grey. Ugh, glad you got out of that one. Too bad there isn’t a way you can post a “keep away” sign on him.

    Reply

    • overitblogdotcom
      Nov 03, 2013 @ 18:59:14

      Wouldn’t that be great if you could do that? But,,then I’d probably be charged with slander because he would make me out as the abuser somehow,,that’s how they do it,,they always twist it around on yah.
      Oh,,and trust me he wasn’t any Christian Grey especially in the bedroom, if you know what I mean 🙂

      Reply

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