Narcissism advice please.

I’m trying really, really REALLY hard to not get into a fight with “the man” and lately he is really trying to pick them.

Over this weekend I have been accused of planning to eat all the food in the cupboards and refrigerator and leave him high and dry. Jokingly, told that I will have to teach him how to use the washing machine, since i’m leaving him.

He has made loud sighs and puffs of exasperation,,,around dishes in the sink, bathroom not being cleaned,  dust on furniture and dust bunny’s collecting. To my defense I have been battling against a cold and not feeling that great, but honestly with being treated like shit, I simply want to do dick for him. I’m constantly reminded that it’s his house,,ok,,I get it so you clean it. In the last 6 months I have lived there this man has not cleaned a dish. (i’m not a dirty person btw, I did clean the house yesterday just because I can’t live in filth and to stop his incessant huffing and puffing).

Last night he repeatedly made comments about how I am leaving him,,while I stroke his ego and say “oh no dear your totally wrong I would never leave you”. When in reality it’s totally what I am going to do.

I’m no longer supposed to use the internet because I use to much and run up his bill. Which is true because everyday when I get home I’m busting my ass looking for a apartment and trying to find a job.

This morning I fell into his trap.

As I was enjoying my first cup of tea for the day,,he came out of the washroom and this is what he said.

Him:”Now hon,,,,you believe what’s fair is fair right”?

Me: I wanted to say yes,,but instead being half asleep what I was really thinking came out “What did I do wrong” is what came out.

Him: Don’t even try to turn this around on me,,,I simply wanted to say that when I shave I am nice enough to make sure I clean up after myself and make sure I clean up my whiskers. And you constantly leave your hair everywhere.

Me:(In my head Sccrrreeeaattccchhhh!!! WHAT THE FUCK). What I said was,,,,”Fine I’m going to cut my hair short again,,I only was growing it longer because you said you like longer hair, I knew this would be a problem, so I’m going to go back to short hair”.

Him: “Don’t turn this around on me,,,I fucking hate this shit I don’t need this”

And he stomped out of the house.

This is what he does all the time,,try’s to turn everything around on me. I need advice on how to head him off and to word my responses,,,I’ve tried the not answering and the to simply not answer but this is starting to not work anymore.

I never returned the call to the Women’s Shelter last week,,,but I’m definately calling them today for advice,,,I have no money or transportation to go there hopefully they can help me over the phone.

Sigh,,,,I need to stop writing and go clean up my tears before class starts,,,,thanks for listening guys your my only solace right now,,I’m sorry i’m such a downer lately.


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. El Guapo
    Sep 24, 2013 @ 13:15:28

    You’re not a downer at all. The opposite, if anything, for standing up for yourself at home, and letting it out on here so it doesn’t fester in you.
    I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you, other than to keep focusing on your next steps of getting out and finding work, and just letting whatever he says roll off you as much as possible.

    Keep on rockin, Overit!


  2. Twindaddy
    Sep 24, 2013 @ 15:23:32

    I don’t know if there is a right way to deal with narcs. They are always right no matter what you do. It’s always your fault.

    I would definitely see what the shelter can do for you. That seems like your best bet.


    • overitblogdotcom
      Sep 24, 2013 @ 15:44:41

      Your right Twin,,,I don’t know wth I was thinking even trying to think rationally about this. You conveyed it accurately it’s always my fault.
      I will be definitely calling the shelter today, even for just encouragement.
      On a upside,,I have a app’t for a beautiful apartment tomorrow at 1 🙂


  3. merbear74
    Sep 24, 2013 @ 21:02:05

    You deserve a hell of a lot better.


  4. sakuramina
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 00:29:55

    With a narcissist there’s no compromise and no common sense to be shared. Know that the problem is not yours, it’s his. I wish you safety, and the best of luck.


  5. djmatticus
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 19:48:42

    No need to apologize. We hear to listen whatever you have to say. I can’t really offer any advice on how to deal with him, unfortunately. I guess I would be tempted to placate him to try and keep things smooth sailing until I got out of there, but that could be terrible advice. I wouldn’t want him taking advantage of you or the situation in the meantime… I’m not sure.


  6. overitblogdotcom
    Sep 27, 2013 @ 18:56:29

    Nope, not terrible advice at all my friend. In fact that’s exactly what I have chosen to do it’s easier than trying to make him see mainly because he just isn’t worth the effort any more.
    Have a look at my update today,,,things are starting to look up 🙂
    Thanks again for just being here, it means alot!


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