Good news friday y’all!!

This blog has been a downer lately,,,my life has been a downer lately.

But I have stayed positive (on the outside at least) and good news has been bestowed to moi.

Today, my friends I signed for the release of my last installment of my government school loan, which means I am one more step closer to moving out!!!  I shall have the fundage in my bank account in 5-10days from now 🙂

My daughter (big C) and I went a saw a beautiful place earlier this week and we find out sometime over the weekend if we get it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed but I’m a realist and no that there is a good chance that we won’t get it either,,,but we will find a nice place of that I am sure

Now all I need is a part-time job and all will be complete. I spent all yesterday afternoon at the largest shopping mall in the city we are moving too and put out 10-15 resumes. I have learned that Thursdays are a good day to go because managers seem to be there so I got to meet with a few and most will be starting to call for seasonal work next week so finger’s crossed.

I’m feeling stronger just knowing that I will have money for a way out and that the end is near.

Have a great weekend everyone :O)

**UPDATE**                No sooner than 5 mins after I hit post, my phone rang and I now have a interview for a part-time job on Monday afternoon after school!!

Life is Good 😉

Narcissism advice please.

I’m trying really, really REALLY hard to not get into a fight with “the man” and lately he is really trying to pick them.

Over this weekend I have been accused of planning to eat all the food in the cupboards and refrigerator and leave him high and dry. Jokingly, told that I will have to teach him how to use the washing machine, since i’m leaving him.

He has made loud sighs and puffs of exasperation,,,around dishes in the sink, bathroom not being cleaned,  dust on furniture and dust bunny’s collecting. To my defense I have been battling against a cold and not feeling that great, but honestly with being treated like shit, I simply want to do dick for him. I’m constantly reminded that it’s his house,,ok,,I get it so you clean it. In the last 6 months I have lived there this man has not cleaned a dish. (i’m not a dirty person btw, I did clean the house yesterday just because I can’t live in filth and to stop his incessant huffing and puffing).

Last night he repeatedly made comments about how I am leaving him,,while I stroke his ego and say “oh no dear your totally wrong I would never leave you”. When in reality it’s totally what I am going to do.

I’m no longer supposed to use the internet because I use to much and run up his bill. Which is true because everyday when I get home I’m busting my ass looking for a apartment and trying to find a job.

This morning I fell into his trap.

As I was enjoying my first cup of tea for the day,,he came out of the washroom and this is what he said.

Him:”Now hon,,,,you believe what’s fair is fair right”?

Me: I wanted to say yes,,but instead being half asleep what I was really thinking came out “What did I do wrong” is what came out.

Him: Don’t even try to turn this around on me,,,I simply wanted to say that when I shave I am nice enough to make sure I clean up after myself and make sure I clean up my whiskers. And you constantly leave your hair everywhere.

Me:(In my head Sccrrreeeaattccchhhh!!! WHAT THE FUCK). What I said was,,,,”Fine I’m going to cut my hair short again,,I only was growing it longer because you said you like longer hair, I knew this would be a problem, so I’m going to go back to short hair”.

Him: “Don’t turn this around on me,,,I fucking hate this shit I don’t need this”

And he stomped out of the house.

This is what he does all the time,,try’s to turn everything around on me. I need advice on how to head him off and to word my responses,,,I’ve tried the not answering and the to simply not answer but this is starting to not work anymore.

I never returned the call to the Women’s Shelter last week,,,but I’m definately calling them today for advice,,,I have no money or transportation to go there hopefully they can help me over the phone.

Sigh,,,,I need to stop writing and go clean up my tears before class starts,,,,thanks for listening guys your my only solace right now,,I’m sorry i’m such a downer lately.

It’s a beautiful day in “my” neighbourhood

news
South Simcoe Police are looking for the public’s help in locating a missing Innisfil man, who is believed to be armed with a gun. Police say 37 year old Clifton Goodyear disappeared on Wednesday, after he recently ended a relationship and there are concerns about his mental health. Huronia West OPP found Goodyear’s vehicle abandoned on the 3rd Concession of Sunnidale in Clearview Township and police are still searching the area for the man’s whereabouts. Goodyear is described as white, 5’8”, 180 lbs., with brown hair and a brownish red beard. He was wearing dark coloured track pants, t-shirt and baseball hat, but he also has “Jax” tattooed on his left forearm. Police say if anyone locates Goodyear, they should not approach him and call 9-1-1 instead. – Kool fm News
This is what’s been going down on my street since Wednesday night.
And we just found out the NEWS on the drive in what was going on.
We have been inundated with tons of cop cars, SWAT, helicopters, search dogs etc since Wednesday night.
At NO time has any of the people that live on this street been notified that this individual is on the loose. I finally called the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) and asked what was going on and was told that they couldn’t tell me,,,but to lock all windows, including screens and to leave our outside lights on.
To say that our little community is “pissed” about the way this is being handled is putting it lightly. We live on a rural road, surrounded by corn fields and bush. Our children are dropped off on this road by school buses,,,they have to walk to their farms long distances most of them alone or with younger siblings.
For the police to NOT at least notify one resident so that we can let other neighbours so we can make sure the children are accompanied by a adult or even picked up at school.
I hope that this man is found safe and sound.
But I also hope that we have a town meeting with the local authorities on how something like this can be better taken care of next time.
So what’s going on in your neighbourhood?

Ohhhh,,,shit be goin down here,,,,,

and I have absolutely NOTHING to do with it!!!

I came home this afternoon checked the mail and “the man” has a letter here from the MTO aka Ministry of Transportation (same as the DMV in the states).

That’s no biggie,,,but it’s from the Driver Improvement Office.

Now,,,because I’m nosey,,,I had to google this and this is what I found click here —–> Driver Improvement Office

I’m particulary interested in the Medical Review Section.

Why you may ask???

Let  me tell you,,,”the man” was tested about a year ago for sleep apnea and was found to need a CPAP machine. Because he is “the man” and is indestructible,,,,and also cheap,,,he refused to purchase “said” machine’.

I know that HE knows, that the doctor’s office is legally obligated to report these kinds of diagnoses  to the MTO because HE told me (I knew this anyways but I digress). He is gonna be pissed that he is being told what to do and he can lose his driver’s license that he needs to get to work with.

It crossed my mind to text him that the letter is here,,,but he never answers my texts anyways. So, it shall be a nice little surprise for him. Should be a interesting evening.

Oh well not my problemo.

sux

 

I work so hard.

I work so hard at school,,,,this is what I do during Transcription time.

 

 

Your welcome

Is this the right step?

No,,I have NOT changed my mind to leave.

After this past wknd and last night, it just has reinforced my decision.

Last night the “man”,,, purposely set me up to try to argue with him over everything. He is trying to make me doubt my decision to move out and trying to plant it in my mind that I will fail and be out in the streets. I’m beginning to think i’m losing my mind.

Soooo,,,

I made a decision and looked up the local woman’s shelter’s in the town that I will be moving too. (there isn’t one where I am now,,it’s just a village with about 25 families max here.)

So that I can get info on places to live, help with setting up the place, and info to help me gain employment once I’m there. Also,,some info on what resources are out there in the event I don’t find something right away.

I’m hoping that me having a little nest egg will be a asset in helping me get a successful plan.

I’m afraid they won’t believe me because I have no physical scars.  I also feel like they will look down on me,,I mean I’m a smart well educated person how the hell did I get myself into this mess.

One of the girls that I confide too in class, brought it to my attention, that he is probably doing what he’s doing because although he doesn’t verbalize it,,,he is scared that I am leaving him for good. Which IS the real plan but I have told him otherwise and that it’s to gain employment and to help set my daughter up to live on her own.

As this time is getting closer,,,i’m starting to get a little bit more afraid,,,,so I think I will feel better with a plan.

I have also decided to remove my wordpress app right now off my phone so if in the event he try’s to look thru my phone he won’t find this blog. So if I don’t respond to people during the evening hours that’s why. And,,I have added a password,,so he can’t get to my emails.

I’m currently waiting for a return call from the shelter,,because no one answered,,,I had to leave a message 😦

Is this a good step?? Advice thoughts??

Thanks.

Another crappy wknd down,,6-7 more to go. Part 1.

eyes

Hello folks,

How was your weekends? Great,,,just lovely.

Mine was crap. It’s pretty sad when you look forward to Mondays so that you can get away from “the man” and his ass holiness.

If you don’t want to read about my crappy weekend,,,then you may leave now.

Friday night started with bf coming home with a grocery bag of chips and dip, peanuts and some other mixture chippy thing (all the snacks that he has told me to stop buying because he is getting too fat). A bottle of rye and a box of red wine for me. When I asked why the red wine,,,his response to me: I want to liquor you up and have my way with you.

Whatever,,,,I drank it,,,,and fell asleep,,,,so your plan was foiled dipshit.

A couple that we hang out with occasionally called and invited us over for dinner on sat night. But, bf made the decision for both of us that NO we wouldn’t be going because his son was coming over (oh joy),and he has allll sooo much to do. Translation, working on his stupid shed (have to get all sheared up for the upcoming winter months, don’t you know),,,,and mowing the stupid lawn AGAIN.

Saturday morning came,,,bf declared that we needed to go grocery shopping.

Now, I have made it very VERY clear that,,,all of my school funding has ran out. I have a whole $120 to my name until probably the second week of Oct. That money is to be used to pay the girl that gives me a ride home every day after school.

Anyways, he wants to go shopping, ok we will go shopping. I am a frugal shopper, I cut coupons when I can and price match with the few flyers we actually receive in the newspaper. (This embarrasses bf btw). So we are shopping and he’s throwing all kinds of stuff in the cart, and i’m like good thing he’s paying for this stuff.

We get to the check out I load the stuff up and he starts bagging the stuff on the other end. It comes to paying time and bf is shocked that I am not paying!!! I didn’t even bring my wallet. What part of I don’t have anymore money did you NOT get dickhead.

Stay tuned for part 2,,,of my lovely weekend,,,,it’s alll soooo riveting (insert rolling eyes here).

My Story Part 2

Click here——-> My story: Part 1

When I started highschool, my mother started to work. She started to work for a cosmetic factory it was kind of cool for a teenage girl because she brought home lots of samples.

Sometime along the way,,,she started to drink, I didn’t really notice but it must of been progressive. Her drink of choice still till this day is Rum and Coke,,,there is always a large bottle of Rum in the lower right cupboard in the kitchen and endless 2 litre bottles of diet cola in the fridge.

My parents started to fight ALL the time. I think my dad might of had a small affair during this time as well, because one day alone at home the phone rang and the woman on the other end of the line asked for my dad, and then told me to let him know that she had called. I left a note beside the phone,,,I never heard of it again. Now that I think of it,,my mother always got home before him and she would of seen the message.

I remember many times lying in bed, wishing that my parent’s would just get a divorce so that the yelling would finally stop.

That never happened.

Now that I am older,,,,I realize that my parents never really supported me. I don’t remember my parents coming to any of my school plays or orchestra assemblys. They were never present for any extra curricular activities, or sporting events (when I did get enrolled for a sporting activity it always ended with me having to drop out for lack of funds). When I graduated high school I graduated with a High School Diploma, and a College Degree in Dental Assisting and even for that they weren’t present. In fact,,,I never even had graduation pictures done because there wasn’t money and I had to borrow a friends sister’s dental uniform because again there wasn’t any money for these things. But,,,there was always Rum and Coke.

Geez,,,I wonder why I always struggle with the feeling of not being worthy,,,,hmmmm….

From a quite ugly duckling in middle to school, I became a blossoming young woman in high school. I had few girlfriends, but was well liked with the boys. I dated many boys,,,but I wasn’t a tart.

I met my first husband in Grade 11 and we married the October after I graduated highschool……..

Things that annoy me……

annoy

Things that annoy me……..

  1. Woman that have to tell you there birthing stories.
  2. People that walk into a room and declare what the weather is like outside.
  3. People that are into living well,,,then proceed to go outside for a smoke.
  4. Stupid games in school when your classmates are in there early 40’s and it gets ugly.
  5. Having to have to participate in these stupid games.
  6. People that think they are funny. And they aren’t.
  7. Not being able to play Ryan Seacrest’s Million Dollar Quiz because I don’t live in the U.S.

 

Feel free to add to my list……..

Dear: Miss Alice

Dearest Miss Goodie Two Shoes Alice:

Just who do you think you are?

I mean like reeaallyyy???

What makes you think that you EVER EVEN had a chance with Blunt Life Coach???

Just take a look at you:

I despise you.

I despise you.

I hate your stupid little frew frew dress and your white girlie nylons with those teenie tiny little patent leather girl school shoes. With your always seemingly perfect coiffed long blonde hair, pulled demurely back with a alluring black headband.

YOU and your beautiful alabaster white flawless skin and those big blue doe eyes……..uggghhhh,,,you make me want to hurl my short bread cookies.

MOST would think that you would be a Storm Trooper’s dream for a mate.

But I see thru that farce!!!!!!! I know just what kind of trashy, sick twisted character YOU are!!!!

I know what makes this BLC purr.

I know what makes this BLC purr, and it’s not you Alice.

BLC does not like your type.

He does NOT like tea parties, with fat little twin boys with helicopter wings. He does not get a kick out of splitting scones with mad hatters.

He has no time to look thru little tiny key holes. Nor does he have time for little vixens of your sort that stupidly drink from randomly left medicinal bottles with lord knows what is inside of them.

NO,,what BLC “needs” is someone like ME!

Someone with experience, a worldly magical woman like ME!

Someone who can take charge both of her man and her many charges, I mean children.

Someone who can teach valuable lessons with a magical touch. Someone that is practically perfect in every way, someone with grace and elegance. Some say that I am very vain and selfish but those traits immensely turn on my BLC. He says the things I can do with an umbrella make it seem like we are flying!

Sooo,,,little Miss Alice take my warnings advice and your crazy cat and chase that fictional white bunny of yours down a long dusty hole.

BLC is MINE,,,Biotch!!!

And, you best be not showing your lily-white ass down #17 Cherry Tree Lane any time soon, Or you KNOW I will be taking you down!

Sincerely:

sig

 

 

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